November 17, 2006

Unconfined scribblings (an excerpt)

...I don't care to imagine it but there may just be another flood if this loathsome rain doesn't hold off. I love rain - don't get me wrong. How could I despise something that creates a perfect rhythmic tinkling? I think it should visit in moderation and know when to subside, dwindle off, move on...but it can't know, can it? If rain had a heartbeat, I know what it would sound like. If equipped with a mind, it would be a stubborn set - dutiful even. And a soul? Not so much a soul but a spirit, I believe, and yes, this time I'm sure rain has a spirit because energy is present in everything. And now I must begin again because I can't wish the rains to not do as they must. It's their passion. I wish I could scatter myself into a million pieces and each bit of me can grasp a rain drop and whoosh into a watery adventure. But physically I'm not made to disintegrate at will. Unfortunate, yes. But I have my ways around such obstacles. Bear in mind that spelling is not my strong point. I do like to give each word its proper arrangement of letters, so I look up each word I have difficulties with whenever a dictionary is handy. Now is not that time. I suppose a word is only dressing for meaning. Merely a symbol and different in every culture. But a misspelled word is as wrong as anything can be wrong. Doesn't it in fact tarnish the meaning slightly? It's as if it demotes it to lower class....taints its purity. I don't feel like furthering the subject. The rain has stopped. But for how long? What's it matter. The worms on the pavement will die tomorrow if not placed on grass. They look like small, twisting brown twigs stretched thin and taut. Little do they know they aren't getting anywhere. I'm tired and this parking lot is tired. The lights shine tired and the signs spell tired. Do you suppose the white lines that create car slots farthest from the store are jealous of those closest? They're never desirable to anyone and rarely filled. I talk like everything has a heart. Everything is a debate, isn't it? Seriously an argument. It's unreal but a perfect circle, as it should be. Or is it a straight line - perhaps there and back again. I believe in inbetweens so a diamond would be good too...

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